Haven't posted for a while but this has amused me for the past week or so, and I've finally stuck the video on my machine and now on here:


Birds, Bees, Boots and Toby!

If you remember back a couple of weeks ago we had some snow (well we did here anyway), well this story starts back then... Me and the kids had to go play in the half centermeter of snow, which we did them in their wellies, me in my old boots. When we finished it was back in and I put the boots in the "utility" room to dry out.

Now some may know we've got a pet tortoise (Toby) who's 67 years old (middle aged for a spur-thigh apparently). Now he's not been the most active of beasts this summer. But now it's coming in to winter he's been bashing and crashing around the utility room for the past few weeks. But we didn't budget on the "boot-effect".

I came home from work one night and my OH is all but wetting herself with laughter. She says "go and ask the girlie what Toby's been doing", so I do and she says "he's been fighting with my boot and making funny noises". Now I didn't know tortoises made noises, but Toby does apparently. Talking to my OH I find out that either Toby, or my left boot (not sure which), is an insatiable shag monster! And Toby's been displaying, butting, biting and shagging my boot. And not only that when he really gets going he squeaks (think of the sound of a creaky door in a mouse house!)

And it's these noises that are killing my OH. She decided that the girlie, only being six, can live with the missunderstanding of Toby fighting. But perhaps I'll keep the video for her sex-ed lessons when she's older.

So hopefully attached is a little bit of nature, just needing a whispering voice over from D Antenborough!!