Odd Things Happen

... on holiday No computer, let alone internet, for a whole week...

See you later.

I had loads of plans for tonight, not least to take Toby's house over to the in-laws and start packing the kids toys for our holiday (starting on Saturday). But I feel like death warmed up, slightly better now I've had something to eat, but one of those banging headaches behind the eyes and between my ears, that painkillers don't touch.

Horrible.

So it's off to bed.

Now I've seen this a few times and not commented, but today/now I just have to. I go swimming most lunchtimes when at work. And on Thursday's session there are some mature beginners/improvers that have a bit of a lesson before I get there (they're finishing off when I'm warming up).

Now I have abosolutely no problem with any shape/size/age/ability of persons wanting to swim (just so long as they keep to the usual pool etiquate). But there's one chap who... no... it's just not acceptable.

From the pool surface he's fine - your typical 60-something year old: you know the type, body starting to turn frailer with more sagging skin than muscle tone. But as I said above, fine and good look to him.

No the problem I have is in his choice of trunks. Now I am not prudish (or may be I am) but he wears what can only be described as seriously high cut "thong" like black trunks: all front packet and tiny cloth up his bum crack!!! Now he's sixty something... and I'd only expect to see what he's wearing on the Chippendales or in some dodgy porn movie! Not on a late sixty year old in a public swimming pool.

The only saving grace is that I am quite short sighted and don't have to suffer the sight for long. But the image burns scarely in my minds eye - and it's not pleasant!!

Okay, I don't hate recycling. What I hate/find really annoying are the people who come around in their green (echo friendly?) lorry and collect our papers, bottles and cans.

They really wind me up because they always come around when I'm just about to take my girl to school. They always block the road, or worse(?!) my drive so I can't get out. Then they are so bloody slow at emtpying these boxes (yeah I know it's not high on the motivational stakes, but...). And today after taking even longer than normal (because they *knew* about my current work crisis) they put our little green box right in line with my back wheel!!!!!

So when I reversed there was that "nice" sound of cracking plastic.

So today I dislike recycling

Well it's been a fraught few days in the office. I get in yesterday and *PANIC* there's a big User Group demo today at 10:00 and at 09:99 yesterday they guy running it had only just worked out that the product was not demonstrable! Call in the cavelry...

Now my boss says I can look at it, so I spend all of yesterday looking at something implemented by another chap (currently on holiday) whilst "baby sitting" the son of a colleague who's doing his "work placement week". And yesterday I was pretty clueless about how to solve this strange problem.

By 18:40 I thought I'd worked it out on my PC, and needed to drop the stuff onto one of our "all powerful" server boxes. And as I was swim-coaching last night at eight, only partially installed the kit deciding to do the rest last night.

So I went coaching and what I thought was an hour, turned out to be one-and-a-half. Not only that but just before I got home from work, my OH rang me to say could I get her handbag from her mums (she'd left it!) So rather than coming home after coaching, I was off on a 30-min round trip to the in-laws.

After a quick bite to eat it's start work at half ten. I get the rest of the software installed and... well it doesn't !*("! work does it? Nope, because the server I need to talk to has crashed! And I don't know the bloomin' password on that box to restart it. So I send everyone an email telling them what's what.

And this morning at 7:45 the phones ringing saying - it still doesn't work sort it out... So I huff and puff, trying to juggle working, with a mobile phone conversation, with my breakfast, with the kids' breakfasts, with getting (everyone) dressed, and getting to school and back.

Anyhow, much touching of wood, everything appears to be working now! Much relief.

Oh, and if the above hadn't been enough there was also my OH's phone going off pretty much every hour on the hour from 2am until 6 this morning with her work!!

I just need a long lie down, and I'll be fine...

Oh dear, I've found a new(?) thing to do rather than work. It's got many names but the site I goto is called www.eatpoopucat.com.

Basically it's like chinese whispers but on paper (well virtual paper on the internet). Someone starts and writes a sentence or two. Then another person draws a picture of that sentence. Then a third, without reference to any of the proceding writes a "description" of the picture they see. And so on.

At www.eatpoopucat.com each "strip" is 9 sections long (5 of words and 4 pictures).

Now I find myself thinking the wrong-kind of laterally rather than on my work. Hopefully it's just a phase that'll pass...

Here's a couple links to strips I found/find amusing:
http://www.eatpoopucat.com/EPUC/#stripDetail-2228
http://www.eatpoopucat.com/EPUC/#stripDetail-1994
http://www.eatpoopucat.com/EPUC/#stripDetail-2066

Well we had a right spat this morning. My little lad was flexing his controlling nature, and going off quite spectacularly on one about nothing at all (more accurately about him taking his PJ bottoms off).

God what a racket, that then just escalated into a string of demands and a tirade of tears!!

Sadly the boy's now of an age where he's going to have to learn that he's part of the family and not always the centre of it. It doesn't help that he's spending the next two weeks at the Grandparents (spoilt rotten) and then on holiday (spoilt rotten). But he's got to learn sometime soon.

Toby's not been fed for most of the day so was quite hungry this evening when I gave him his sliced cucumber. Whilst I did the kid's supper I could hear him crunching and munching away (which is good). I then had to pop back into the kitchen to get them a biscuit and then it hit me... that unmistakable iroma of tortoise wee... mmm lovely.

So I stick my head into the utility room and there he was still munching away, but with a twist. He's sitting in a puddle of wee and it's all over his cucumber (yuk!) But does he care? Apparently not because he's eating like a good one.

Now though I've got to get my marigolds, get down on my knees and deal with the toxic puddle... Just what I need before making tea!!

My good lady's just rung me with an "I'll be late home, do the kids" message - which is fine because that's what I'll do. But I am really a touch pissed off with the whole thing (not her, obviously, but her work). They are a small but busy firm (okay fine) but this weekend, when she wasn't supposed to be working. She was fielding calls from the boss on Saturday, then yesterday went out (emergency) between 13:00 and 18:00 - at least she was back before the kids went to bed. Then from 21:00 to (I made it 00:30) she was prepp-ing for today's work.

And now the call, I've just finished at work but I've got to go and see X so will be back late (after the kids are in bed) and have to go out again for 22:00 to see Y. So I recon that she'll get home properly about 01:30 tomorrow, so will have had, oh let's see now... yep apparently 3 hours off from lunchtime yesterday. And then, she always works late on Wednesdays and is "on call" next weekend (which means she'll be out for most of it).

So it's all just a bit crap and I am just a bit pissed off. Because we've not had much quality time over the last few weeks (months) and the financial reward doesn't quite seem to be there. The rest of her staff don't have young children (either DINKIES or grownup kids). To me she seems to get the rough end of the stick.

Anyway I am keeping a count now of the amount of time she's doing and just how many holidays she's taking (so far I can count 2 days). As I've said earlier, it's all just a bit crap really ...

Well not quite (btw the title is a quote from Mythbuster Adam Savage who made something electrical that went "poof" and blue smoke appeared for it never to work again).

Any how, I was left in charge of lunch yesterday for the kids: the girl, a fresh pizza in the oven; the boy fresh chicken under the low-fat grill thing. And everything was fine: chicken and pizza on target, smiley faces on target... and then (bugger) no spagheti shapes. So I dive in the cupboard, get them out, stick them in a bowl, stick it in the microwave, dial in the time and hit go...

... and an aural version of the blue smoke occured. The microwave light went on, the table started spinning, the usual werr-ing sound started and then, ever so very briefly, a little "phizzz" was heard - just once. And that was it, everything worked as normal, the microwave went ping, but the spagheti was cold (very cold). And the microwave was buggered. And my kitchen crutch was no more...

What's the world coming to when a microwave only lasts for 13+ years and five house moves?!?!

Luckily my good lady was out so I rang her, the boy told her the problem, and when she came home we had a new (and very cheap) microwave - £47 but will it work in 2020 I wonder...!

Okay I am confused. Granted I am typically male (in some respects!?) and don't do clothes shopping very often. But today, getting ready for our holiday in a couple of weeks I went to that trendy shop (aka Burtons - yeah I know) and bought me a trendy pair of 3/4 length shorts and a couple of t-shirts. Now I know what size T-shirts to get, because I got a couple last birthday of my sister-in-law. So I bought a couple of large ones (where once I'd have bought XL).

Now onto the shorts - this was more of a problem than I would have thought. Actually it wasn't because I remember the last (trendy) pair of jeans I bought last year and they were 30" waist. So after a bit of dithering, and because my boy was getting a touch crotchety I settled for 30" rather than 32" (which I know is what I am). I didn't try them on - just bought them and went.

So I get home and try them on - the T-shirts (fine), and the shorts... also fine - so I got the right size. BUT I am not 30" waist - haven't been since my younger days (some time back). I found hreself's tape measure and am pleased to say I am still a 32" waist. So tell me why these 30" shorts fit, they are not tight, there's pleanty of room... just like my trendy jeans (which have "yards" of room to spare). Has somebody changed the size of an inch whilst I wasn't looking...?

No wonder there are confused people in this world... I am one of them.

Today we did a family thing (all of us goingout together). Herself had found/knew about a little steam train ride not to far from here, so after a fortifying lunch off we set.

And sure enough there was a tiny steam train (looking rather like Rev. Awdry's "Sir Handle" train). We got a seat right at the front of it and off we set in a fog of steam and smoke. The kids thought it was ace, especially when we got to the end and the driver/fireman/guard came around with a big tub of lolly pops! To which my boy said "thank you very much" in the heart felt style of a 3-and-a-half year old.

Then on the way back it was a stop for a coffee and ice cream and then home (with two snoring kids in the back).

Simple stuff, but it makes you (me!) appreciate the reason we have Bank Holiday's.